July 8, 2015

Turn It Off

I went to see “The Book of Mormon” last night at the Kennedy Center. Box seats a little off to the right of center but still pretty centered. Great seats, lots of money, totally worth it. The lights dimmed and the voice at the beginning of the show said: “blah blah blah, please turn off all electronic devices.” Well, the person in the box next to me just didn’t understand what turning her electronic device completely off meant. During the entire performance, I had a blinking light, texting, snapchats, phone calls (at least the ringer and buzzer were off), telling me that there was a completely different story line going on than what was being told on stage.

Brilliant performance, by the way. I do not recommend it to anyone under the age of 18, anyone who would be offended by jokes on and about religion, and anyone who might mind having their brains kept in the gutter for a couple of hours.

I digress. Because I didn’t want to grab her phone and chuck it down below and hurt someone, or grab her phone and stomp on it until it stopped having things to say, I came up with all these different non violent lines:

1. Please turn your phone off.
2. Turn your phone off, you’re being rude.
3. Turn your @#$%%^& phone off.

Since I was absolutely positive I would go all Italian on her, I decided that I wouldn’t say anything. So what did I do instead? (cause something HAD to be done) The sensible mature thing of course, I went and told on her. Ha, so there! I WON! (smiley faces). I watched, with great satisfaction, the usher telling the entire box to turn off all electronics.

2nd half….blink blink blink…Argh!!! Die phone, die!!!

The moral of this story? Don’t be rude. If you feel you can’t be without your phone for a couple of hours, you probably shouldn’t go where it’s required to turn it off. Stay home.

Next time, I’m taking matters into my own hands, literally. Phones beware!

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